Why do I drink so much alcohol?
When did you ever hear a child say “When I grow up, I would like to be an Alcoholic”? Never! It just happens, and only you can do something about it!
I had my first taste of alcohol when I was twelve years old; I drank a whole pint of Gin the night before we came here in the U.S. from the Philippines. A few years later I drank more, and experimented with various drugs like LSD, marijuana, and crack cocaine.
So why do I drink so much Alcohol?
I drank a lot because it made me feel good. It’s like being in an ideal state of mind and life is just perfect. Picture this hypothetical life in your head. Imagine yourself being in a lousy marriage, and your spouse nags at all times. Your step-son is a lazy pathological liar piece of S@#$t! Plus the mother-in-law is an educated dumbass with a foul mouth. Now have a few shots of whiskey and a few joints of weed. Then all of a sudden they all turn into a mime stuck inside a glass container. Doesn’t that make you smile? Everything is quiet, and they can’t cause you any more stress. Makes me wonder how Al Bundy remained sober.
It was great to drink your problems away, but this eventually became a problem itself. That’s when I started asking more pressing questions such as:
- Why do I have to drink?
- Will I ever stop drinking?
- Does anyone understand why I’m drinking so much?
- Am I an alcoholic
- Why can’t I stick with one drink?
I drank alcohol because I felt insecure and it gave me instant confidence. A lot of times I felt terrified because I compared myself to others who are more successful than me.
I knew it was time to get help when my health started deteriorating. It took me another three to five years before I sought help and stuck with the program.
I shared my story so what’s yours? Why did you or why do you drink so much? Did alcohol made you feel good at first and something else later?